A Surprising Problem When Bicycling To Work

Riding your bike to work is an adventure in self-discovery. One of the things I found out about myself is that my feet stink. After cranking bicycle peddles for thirty minutes to get to work my shoes are sloshing with enough sweat to fill a bath tub. My socks would stick to the wall if I tossed them, (I refrain from this since I do not want to decontaminate and repaint the wall).  I feel clammy from my knees down and generally uncomfortable wearing shoes that have turned into soggy sponges. Besides, I am afraid that I might set off some hazmat alarms in the nearby industrial complex.

I could invest in fancy bicycling shoes made out of the breathable polymers used in astronauts' undergarments or I could buy expensive powders, creams, ointments, or inserts or even fill my shoes with kitty litter, (it absorbs doesn't it?) But the whole idea of bicycling to work is to draw a line in the sand to tell the oil and gas companies they can't have any more of my money, (besides there is none left- they got it all), so, it would defeat the purpose to go out and spend money on Victoria's Secret talc for my feet.

What I am currently trying, (not right now that is, since I am typing on my kid's computer at the moment), but when I bicycle to work my approach is to keep my shoes loosely tied to give more breathing and circulation between the shoe and the sock. I bring a change of socks and a pair of work shoes so I can have something dry to wear.

Beware Bicyclist's Socks!

Once at work I to take off the sweaty socks and stuff them in an old grocery bag to wash and fumigate when I get home. (Did I mention the gas mask?) I hide my shoes behind the refrigerator in the employee break room, so if anybody smells them they will think the exterminator left some mummified rodent behind after his last visit. A wet paper towel from the men's room with a touch of sanitizing hand soap goes a long way to freshen up my feet. A moment to dry off and I am ready for fresh socks and shoes.

If I find some baby powder or corn starch on sale I might pick some up to sprinkle on my stinky feet, but you have to be careful- people look at you funny if you come out of the men's room holding slimy socks and a bottle of baby powder while wearing a bicycle helmet.